the sense of fear is killing me deep inside

it seems like my interest in financial industry ain't that profound.
what if i call it off half way through?
i hate the idea of staying at the hostel and live somewhere away from PJ
at the thought of being surrounded by strangers .. is just scary
i dunno... i really dunno..

all i know is i cannot screw up!

crossing fingers
pls 11th of march...
dun bring me down 

i am so ignorant of the financial field.

moments ago i read an article about forex trading..
i realise it's a very risky business BUT  fun and challenging
i wish i had enough time to finish reading unfortunately not
therefore i have decided to continue the next day
i put a few links beside =)
check them out if you are interested.

might be boring for some people though


lol

ciao




ps : GOOD LUCK EDGAR!  i am so glad to have a friend like you =) without you i wouldn't have known whats forex

I'm way to cool for ya boy.

That's why it'll never work.


I'll have you
Suicidal,
When I say its over.
Damn all these beautiful girls.
They're only gonna do ya dirt.
We'll have you
Suicidal,
When I say it's over.








You've been calling me.
Leaving messages all week,
Cause your curosity.
Got ya knees weak.
I'm not looking for a man,
So I dont want no confusion.
I took you to the floor.
Had you begging me for more.
But that was my cue to go.
So i hit the door.
I left you hott,
But your mind's just been running wild.






I ain't easy to find.
I'm one of a kind.
Oh when i dirty wine,
I know you're mine.
If you stick around,
Be careful not to fall in love,











I mush up your mind,
When I tell you lies,
But boy don't be surprised,
That I'm seeing other guys.
I'm too young to settle,
And you should have known better.





Damn all these beautiful girls.
They're only gonna do ya dirt.
We'll have you,
Suicidal,
When I say it's over.

on my way back

every decision i made
the sense of responsibility is required
girl, the power of tomorrow is in your hand
i know you can make it

i stop living in the past
i am learning not to feel something
it's hard
but challenging

too sensitive
too sentimental

i have been doing it quite often now..
now how is it like to let the chemical combinations entered then leaving your stomach and channelled out through your oesophagus.. taste sour you know..


i dunno but yeah don't cha worry i know the limit

i am trying to do some little tricks on people i meet =) especially strangersssss
magical experiences
fantastic!
love it~

people learn to grow up mentally

when i was 12
i used to call people names
i thought it was kinda cute
here's the catch
to 13 year-olds we think it's adorable
to 15 year-olds we reckon it's acceptable
to 17 year-olds we call that childish
to 20 year-olds it's unbearable!




so people!
please mind every word you say..
you can't use toddler way of speaking to communicate with your adult friends in a 20 year old body.
what i am trying to say is..
don't create an over grown baby image for yourself
it's neither funny nor special but stupid




making yourself look like a clown is your own fault. don't blame the audience =)

roar

i knew this couple
they were so sweet and cute together..
year after.. the husband cheated
surprisingly she took it real cool
she decided to divorce without second thought
months later now here she is.. breaking up with her new boyfriend..
she has 2 ex husbands, a bunch of ex boyfriends and an 11 yr old kid
this woman is currently at her middle of twenties ..
to me she is losing her prettiness her body and her youth literally
all i could see she's .. lost
some part of her soul is missing


is she gonna be my reflection 10 years later?


woman is like a teabeg you never knew how strong it is until you put into hot water.



that's what she told me just now...
indeed she's so right..
in this sophisticated world
women are capable of doing lots of stuff
independent and smart..

but when you are being too self-centred
what do you get at the end of the day?
are you all alone?
do you get the comfort that you been seeking?
i have no place to judge
perhaps someday.. i would know the answer



wish her luck......


lovesssssss

night

time for a huge changes again

i know.. i can feel it..
it's like a hungry tiger living inside and is ready to be released ..


btw, without photoshop i think my pictures wont be so "adorable"

check these out

too much on my mind

i need to arrange them out accordingly..

activities :

 i went bu4 and yo juniors was there anything WRONG with me? ... @.@ why kept staring




 i got a part-time job at forever 21 =) starting from next mondayyy.. so please do drop by and say Hi if you just so happen to shop around there. =D and i bought a book which i had been longing due to the price which i couldn't afford back in 2008. the book is like a ladder to create a person of people. i am so sure that it's gonna impact a young soul here so much that you never knew




Thoughts :

to succeed, you cannot be alone. you need to live among the crowd, man power. you need to be out standing by somehow build up good relationships with people. the power of body language is giving tremendous effect living in sophisticated societies.


you don't need to have a lot knowledge to be rich. instead, you need NEREVES to take the first step and willing to risk =) so give yourself a turbo - boost. There's no age boundary to be wealthy. it's a matter of how you think and how you manage things =)






conflicts/dilemmas :

i hate to say this but my ex-boyfriend still has a place on my heart. (even though i never quite bother about what he thinks or what he's been up to) but yeah it's suppose to be quite personal but here i am to share. anyway it doesn't matter cos i believe he wont be reading this and even if he does .. " HALLO! =) yeah i am talking about you "  i know something must be wrong cos new love and old love can never collide . i reckon it's better to stay single because teenage love is almost ridiculous and foolish to me. firstly, you cant gimme what i wanted (we talking about future). secondly, i don't think you would do me any better for you still need your parents financially support.




DUDE! to get a girlfriend needs money. (it's the fact.don't like it? kindly fuck off) stingy enough?  stay away from girls plssss =D

i don't care what people saying

LOL !


laugh cock plssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss~


dudey!
i just got my hair rebonded
and i spent 300 bucks last nightttttttttttttt!!!!



your love is my druggggggggggggggggg~~~~

yeahhhhh i feel good =)

it's my last day in Hoi Loong today
life's great =)


trust me i have earned over 2000 =)

don't ask me to treat you meal
cos my money is up for something better than your bloody bills xD


so cheeers!
and cry me a river!

lalala


nighttttttttt!

and happy 18th birthday haziq =)

i am always living in my head

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Every time you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
I just need you to know girl.
I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.


Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight~








yeahh
now .. here i am in your jerky position
i then understand why

i just wanna die in your arms

inspirational

i had plans on what to do with the money i got from my part-time/full-time job.
i guess new plans are indeed needed to be replaced
Sontag inspires me a lot you see.


it's college time =)
i wish to have a huge changessss
i know mommy's still unwilling to let go fortunately her grips are still unable to crush me down yet.
she is conservative
she is stubborn
she is unsupportive
and yet she's still my mother

i have thoughts i have dreams that she couldn't see
dissaprovals of hers cannot stand in my way
it's a waste of time
it's all bullshit
she keeps saying
but how much do you actually know about me?
what you see is what you think, assumtions and predictions

i have learned the word silence
that's not because i have succumbed to her world of imginations but literally i have given in trying to get her to understand me better. i personally stop craving for what's been missing in my 17 years of life and NOW it's time to create things that i wanted in future..


life's great
keep going better
have faith in yourself

i would be indeed serious

only if i found a man i trust far past any romantic inclination. i need to admire him as a person, the choices he's making, the way in which he thinks and considers and act upon everything. i need my relationship with him to make me better and i need to know i am making him better. it's not about finding a man who teats me well but rather getting myself to a point where i could be good to myself, good with a man or good to a man. this relationship served as proof that i am going on the right path...


a person without goals, dreams or something to look forward is almost pathetic and could be reffered as walking corspe. you just wouldn't know what you do is where you go.. how sad... i need someone whom inspires me someone whom as great mind. i have had enough with shallow minded guys

a fun yet to be called peaceful day =) memorable enough

it's 2.40 in the morning now and i had just finished watcing 17 Again. (nice show)
so i been thinking to on my pc (here i am)
since i haven got any chance to go online


yeah you probably woudn't believe this
i have made a bunch of real good myanmar and combodian friends at the restaurant. where we often steal some food and take several sips (sometimes half of the bottle) of the hard liquor while tidy up the tables in the room. of course we done all this behind my dad's back xD these crazy dudes even invited me to dance along with them today at the end of the day at room 888 . lol we finished the half of the bottle of whisky you see. ET and Zay Yar freaking broke a few bowls. lol laugh cock !



i am so going to miss you guys and the good times you guys talked crap about me with myanmar language then i would swear to the damn god i'll take up classes so then i could speak myanmar too.

Cerdek = i love you
cerbu = i don't love you


lol lol they freaking thinking that i have a thing on ET . funny la you ppl

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

xian hui texted me today about my exboyfriend
well not to say i don't have feelings i did feel slightly discomfort upon he's new target on a girl called sabrina.
ahh what can i say i have moved on quite long ago i really don't feel the pain perhaps that's because i was never into this relationship that we had previously. no hard feelings though well at least i wont feel more like a jerk now  =) besides, i am seeing someone new =) i don't know if it would work out but i promise myself i'd give it a shot










night sweet hearts...
i realise i have a constant number of blog visits each day
thank you to actually bother about reading

=D means a whole lots to me