FURIOUS

the sense of fear is killing me deep inside

2010-03-06T19:05:00.000+08:00

it seems like my interest in financial industry ain't that profound.
what if i call it off half way through?
i hate the idea of staying at the hostel and live somewhere away from PJ
at the thought of being surrounded by strangers .. is just scary
i dunno... i really dunno..

all i know is i cannot screw up!

crossing fingers
pls 11th of march...
dun bring me down

i am so ignorant of the financial field.

2010-03-05T21:56:00.002+08:00

moments ago i read an article about forex trading..
i realise it's a very risky business BUT fun and challenging
i wish i had enough time to finish reading unfortunately not
therefore i have decided to continue the next day
i put a few links beside =)
check them out if you are interested.

might be boring for some people though

lol

ciao

ps : GOOD LUCK EDGAR! i am so glad to have a friend like you =) without you i wouldn't have known whats forex

2010-03-05T13:09:00.002+08:00

I'm way to cool for ya boy.

That's why it'll never work.

I'll have you
Suicidal,
When I say its over.
Damn all these beautiful girls.
They're only gonna do ya dirt.
We'll have you
Suicidal,
When I say it's over.

You've been calling me.
Leaving messages all week,
Cause your curosity.
Got ya knees weak.
I'm not looking for a man,
So I dont want no confusion.
I took you to the floor.
Had you begging me for more.
But that was my cue to go.
So i hit the door.
I left you hott,
But your mind's just been running wild.

I ain't easy to find.
I'm one of a kind.
Oh when i dirty wine,
I know you're mine.
If you stick around,
Be careful not to fall in love,

I mush up your mind,
When I tell you lies,
But boy don't be surprised,
That I'm seeing other guys.
I'm too young to settle,
And you should have known better.

Damn all these beautiful girls.
They're only gonna do ya dirt.
We'll have you,
Suicidal,
When I say it's over.

on my way back

2010-03-05T01:35:00.000+08:00

every decision i made
the sense of responsibility is required
girl, the power of tomorrow is in your hand
i know you can make it

i stop living in the past
i am learning not to feel something
it's hard
but challenging

too sensitive
too sentimental

i have been doing it quite often now..
now how is it like to let the chemical combinations entered then leaving your stomach and channelled out through your oesophagus.. taste sour you know..

i dunno but yeah don't cha worry i know the limit

i am trying to do some little tricks on people i meet =) especially strangersssss
magical experiences
fantastic!
love it~

people learn to grow up mentally

2010-03-04T19:21:00.002+08:00

when i was 12
i used to call people names
i thought it was kinda cute
here's the catch
to 13 year-olds we think it's adorable
to 15 year-olds we reckon it's acceptable
to 17 year-olds we call that childish
to 20 year-olds it's unbearable!

so people!
please mind every word you say..
you can't use toddler way of speaking to communicate with your adult friends in a 20 year old body.
what i am trying to say is..
don't create an over grown baby image for yourself
it's neither funny nor special but stupid

making yourself look like a clown is your own fault. don't blame the audience =)

roar

2010-03-04T01:30:00.003+08:00

i knew this couple
they were so sweet and cute together..
year after.. the husband cheated
surprisingly she took it real cool
she decided to divorce without second thought
months later now here she is.. breaking up with her new boyfriend..
she has 2 ex husbands, a bunch of ex boyfriends and an 11 yr old kid
this woman is currently at her middle of twenties ..
to me she is losing her prettiness her body and her youth literally
all i could see she's .. lost
some part of her soul is missing

is she gonna be my reflection 10 years later?

woman is like a teabeg you never knew how strong it is until you put into hot water.

that's what she told me just now...
indeed she's so right..
in this sophisticated world
women are capable of doing lots of stuff
independent and smart..

but when you are being too self-centred
what do you get at the end of the day?
are you all alone?
do you get the comfort that you been seeking?
i have no place to judge
perhaps someday.. i would know the answer

wish her luck......

lovesssssss

night

time for a huge changes again

2010-03-03T14:00:00.000+08:00

i know.. i can feel it..
it's like a hungry tiger living inside and is ready to be released ..

btw, without photoshop i think my pictures wont be so "adorable"

check these out

too much on my mind

2010-03-03T02:06:00.008+08:00

i need to arrange them out accordingly..

activities :

i went bu4 and yo juniors was there anything WRONG with me? ... @.@ why kept staring

i got a part-time job at forever 21 =) starting from next mondayyy.. so please do drop by and say Hi if you just so happen to shop around there. =D and i bought a book which i had been longing due to the price which i couldn't afford back in 2008. the book is like a ladder to create a person of people. i am so sure that it's gonna impact a young soul here so much that you never knew

Thoughts :

to succeed, you cannot be alone. you need to live among the crowd, man power. you need to be out standing by somehow build up good relationships with people. the power of body language is giving tremendous effect living in sophisticated societies.

you don't need to have a lot knowledge to be rich. instead, you need NEREVES to take the first step and willing to risk =) so give yourself a turbo - boost. There's no age boundary to be wealthy. it's a matter of how you think and how you manage things =)

conflicts/dilemmas :

i hate to say this but my ex-boyfriend still has a place on my heart. (even though i never quite bother about what he thinks or what he's been up to) but yeah it's suppose to be quite personal but here i am to share. anyway it doesn't matter cos i believe he wont be reading this and even if he does .. " HALLO! =) yeah i am talking about you " i know something must be wrong cos new love and old love can never collide . i reckon it's better to stay single because teenage love is almost ridiculous and foolish to me. firstly, you cant gimme what i wanted (we talking about future). secondly, i don't think you would do me any better for you still need your parents financially support.

DUDE! to get a girlfriend needs money. (it's the fact.don't like it? kindly fuck off) stingy enough? stay away from girls plssss =D

i don't care what people saying

2010-03-02T13:15:00.000+08:00

LOL !

laugh cock plssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss~

dudey!
i just got my hair rebonded
and i spent 300 bucks last nightttttttttttttt!!!!

your love is my druggggggggggggggggg~~~~

yeahhhhh i feel good =)

2010-03-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

it's my last day in Hoi Loong today
life's great =)

trust me i have earned over 2000 =)

don't ask me to treat you meal
cos my money is up for something better than your bloody bills xD

so cheeers!
and cry me a river!

lalala

nighttttttttt!

and happy 18th birthday haziq =)

i am always living in my head

2010-02-28T23:56:00.003+08:00

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Every time you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
I just need you to know girl.
I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.

Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight~

yeahh
now .. here i am in your jerky position
i then understand why

i just wanna die in your arms

inspirational

2010-02-27T00:57:00.002+08:00

i had plans on what to do with the money i got from my part-time/full-time job.
i guess new plans are indeed needed to be replaced
Sontag inspires me a lot you see.

it's college time =)
i wish to have a huge changessss
i know mommy's still unwilling to let go fortunately her grips are still unable to crush me down yet.
she is conservative
she is stubborn
she is unsupportive
and yet she's still my mother

i have thoughts i have dreams that she couldn't see
dissaprovals of hers cannot stand in my way
it's a waste of time
it's all bullshit
she keeps saying
but how much do you actually know about me?
what you see is what you think, assumtions and predictions

i have learned the word silence
that's not because i have succumbed to her world of imginations but literally i have given in trying to get her to understand me better. i personally stop craving for what's been missing in my 17 years of life and NOW it's time to create things that i wanted in future..

life's great
keep going better
have faith in yourself

i would be indeed serious

2010-02-26T01:31:00.000+08:00

only if i found a man i trust far past any romantic inclination. i need to admire him as a person, the choices he's making, the way in which he thinks and considers and act upon everything. i need my relationship with him to make me better and i need to know i am making him better. it's not about finding a man who teats me well but rather getting myself to a point where i could be good to myself, good with a man or good to a man. this relationship served as proof that i am going on the right path...

a person without goals, dreams or something to look forward is almost pathetic and could be reffered as walking corspe. you just wouldn't know what you do is where you go.. how sad... i need someone whom inspires me someone whom as great mind. i have had enough with shallow minded guys

a fun yet to be called peaceful day =) memorable enough

2010-02-25T02:59:00.001+08:00

it's 2.40 in the morning now and i had just finished watcing 17 Again. (nice show)
so i been thinking to on my pc (here i am)
since i haven got any chance to go online

yeah you probably woudn't believe this
i have made a bunch of real good myanmar and combodian friends at the restaurant. where we often steal some food and take several sips (sometimes half of the bottle) of the hard liquor while tidy up the tables in the room. of course we done all this behind my dad's back xD these crazy dudes even invited me to dance along with them today at the end of the day at room 888 . lol we finished the half of the bottle of whisky you see. ET and Zay Yar freaking broke a few bowls. lol laugh cock !

i am so going to miss you guys and the good times you guys talked crap about me with myanmar language then i would swear to the damn god i'll take up classes so then i could speak myanmar too.

Cerdek = i love you
cerbu = i don't love you

lol lol they freaking thinking that i have a thing on ET . funny la you ppl

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

xian hui texted me today about my exboyfriend
well not to say i don't have feelings i did feel slightly discomfort upon he's new target on a girl called sabrina.
ahh what can i say i have moved on quite long ago i really don't feel the pain perhaps that's because i was never into this relationship that we had previously. no hard feelings though well at least i wont feel more like a jerk now =) besides, i am seeing someone new =) i don't know if it would work out but i promise myself i'd give it a shot

night sweet hearts...
i realise i have a constant number of blog visits each day
thank you to actually bother about reading

=D means a whole lots to me

alcohol

2010-02-24T04:51:00.003+08:00

are you handling me?
can you handle me?
you could?
able to?
you can never achieve that

my heart
my soul
my thoughts
my will
you could never messed them up

come over here
whats your name
come closer
whats your number
over hereeee
im glad i came
a lil closerrr

thank you

2010-02-24T03:55:00.001+08:00

you have broaden up my narrowed mind
you enlighten me with wisdom
because of you i set my goal
because of you my mind set changed
because of you i have the courage to keep moving forward
the guts to challenge myself

i love the way the world goes round.
i like to study how survivals play the rules right and run livings.

you never know what's going to happen next.
live life the fullest
never cry over the spilt milk.
there's no time to look back and regret

i have changed.
now it's time to show what i can do to make everyday a better day.

I must success

the power of love

2010-02-24T03:33:00.002+08:00

two living souls completed one.
one is completed by two living souls.
dad and mom completed me.
i am completed by love.
and because of them, i am who i am.

they are the ones who lead me to this amazing world.
exposed to me the darkest side of humanity
they've shown me the courage to challenge
they have trained me to stand on my feet.

i have been told not to be weak
"to achieve your goal you gotta believe in yourself and thus you will succeed."

don't give up i say
don't look back

people make mistake and you learn from that painful lesson
shit things happen
but i have nothing to lose

because i know i always got my mom to back me up
daddy always willing to give me a push when i have no more strength to fight back.

im glad i am no Rachel Sontag.
my dad loves me.
i love him too. =)

never lock yourself into a relationship
for you can never find your way out unless someone breaks in =)
(to the ladies)

night...

hahaha read this

2010-02-23T16:07:00.004+08:00

Mum says I HAVE A FUTURE!!! Dad says im a DUMB NUTS TO EVEN BLOODY TAKE FORENSICS!!!

I seriously Don`t know what to choose now...I mean...I have the urge to study for anatomy and Forensics as they are really really REALLY Interesting...but my Dad keeps on giving me Negative comments bout it...I mean its MY Future...not yours DAD!!! I don`t wanna be a teacher...im a patient dude

I rather help the dead to avenge the living than to teach kids who don`t even appreciate my work if I even became a BLOODY Teacher >:(

http://rockyfever4life.blogspot.com/2010/01/thriller-night-and-no-one-is-gonna-save.html

eugene is so funnyyyyyy!!!!

save me from myself

2010-02-23T15:50:00.000+08:00

i got drunk last night
6 glasses of red wine at the restaurant
4 glasses of whisky at bistro club (Glenmorangie Scotch Whisky 1846 The Lasana 46% alcohol)
tasty i say =) i couldn't resist

i din't really mean to drink so much you see
dad's a hard drinker
i finished off his liqour while he went washroom then i poured all the water in with remaining whisky

i got drunk after i got home
i tried my best to act like im okay and then i went up to my room and collapsed behind the door
i shake uncontrobally i tried to release the feelings i kept inside all these time

lol did i mention i stole my dad's wine while working
i had 3 glasses of red wine
lol i thought i was going to be unconcious

it's the first time i got drunk.
and i promise this would be the last =S

i hate myself sulking from the past
i need something to focus on
i reckon i should take up a short course or something hmmm
yeah
=D
like IT
or make up
or or... bakery?
lol i hate cooking
is it even possibleeeeeeeeee

whatever laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

im so happy!
im going to quit this job soooooooooooooooon

things happened for a reason

2010-02-22T00:35:00.002+08:00

and that truly has changed my mind set.
i learn to accept the imperfections of this world
i believe that there's always a way to sort things out
friends might turn out to be fouls some day
you just cant bank on every single soul
yes
human toungue is indeed the poisonous weapon
play the game right
reality is always cruel
mind that!
don't take things too seriously
relationship is just something that spice up your tedious daily routine
=)
life is like a drama
stay happy =D

cheeerssssss

everything will be alrighttttttttt
all you need to do is have a little faith and patient in you =D

i love you

night

im gonna drive you crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

2010-02-22T00:11:00.000+08:00

don't turn back don't look back

2010-02-20T03:00:00.000+08:00

baby you should be chasing your dream.
i'll be the one behind your dream
you're stressed enough ain't ya love?
don't turn back just look away
what you think and see
i'll make reality

chasing dream is my priority.

shallow

2010-02-19T01:34:00.001+08:00

yeah why do people always desperate for a companion?
indeed we don't like the feeling of getting lonely
but heyyyy
i think i want my partner to be the one who understands me and speak my mind. we share common interest and most importantly same level of maturity.
=) hmmmmmm
yeahhhhhhhhhh
this timeeee

i'll take my sweet time =)

night all

dear

2010-02-18T02:17:00.001+08:00

all these..
i shall return them tomorrow..

i will miss them dearly =)

night...
baby

do you know how is it feels like betrayed by the one you trusted?

2010-02-18T01:21:00.001+08:00

you have no idea
i wont let you seize a chance to use me against daddy again.
never..
you want some dirty game?
i'll join you

you will get what you deserve

2010-02-17T02:23:00.002+08:00

You spend your nights alone

And he never comes home

And every time you call him

All you get's a busy tone

I heard you found out

That he's doing to you

What you did to me

Ain't that the way it goes

When you cheated girl

My heart bleeded girl

So it goes without saying that you left me feeling hurt

Just a classic case

A scenario

Tale as old as time

Girl you got what you deserved

And now you want somebody

To cure the lonely nights

You wish you had somebody

That could come and make it right

But girl I ain't somebody with a lot of sympathy

You'll see

What goes around comes back around)

what goes around comes around

2010-02-17T00:59:00.002+08:00

be cautious
because i gotta stop
i came close to kill myself emotionally

i promise
if miracle ever happened between us
this time i would however pour everything in
im tired of setting a limit

crossing my fingers
that you don't living a lie

you move like a rockstar my dear

2010-02-16T01:42:00.008+08:00

remorse what you had done

i know this would be the last break up
because i gotta make my final decision

im really sorry for i was never a good girlfriend
i ruined your valentine
i hurted you like it's nothing
i fallen in love with another guy
i had taken you for granted
i asked for break ups

however
you rock!
because you are able to tell me in my face that you have had enough =)

you rock because
you don't need a bitch in your life
you rock because
you have fallen out of love with me too =D

chinese new year

2010-02-15T02:33:00.003+08:00

i have driven you nut i know
sorry =(

They say I'm crazy

I really don't care that's my prerogative.

i have seen a lot these days
it's not merely about reunion party
it's about appreciation
it's about love
it's about thankful
it's about forgiveness
i see tears and laughters
they come from the bottom of humans' hearts
it's beyond an expensive feast

i feel honoured getting to serve them =)
they are all human beings =)

it doesn matter if i got any tips
it's all matter if you enjoy the process

wonderful nights

2010-02-14T03:22:00.000+08:00

been recieving tips almost everyday
hey! YO!
is CHENG here!
yeah the one who got out of NS camp =) just in case you guys wonder

chinese reunion dinners sound pathetically old fashion and boring ( to most of the young people like us )

hit me with gorgeous outfit

2010-02-08T00:01:00.003+08:00

feed me with music
turn me on with hot pink

i met 3 hot chicks (sadly they only had hot bodies. i reckon it's quite unpresentable if you have the make up removed) sighhhhhh

haha and then i met this gorgeous dude again (that one with bad attitude problem)
i mean what the heck?
you think you act lansi then you attract girls?
peRlisssssssssssssss!

my dog even more attractive than you

sao pei pls!

lol lol lol!

Daddy's Rules
was a book about an overprotective, emotional abusive , over paranoid, super sensitive dad
i had second thought whether to buy or not for it might really emotionally tortured me =S
(sorry it's personal to talk about my story here i believe one has the right to burry his dark secrets and that should be respected. therefore please don't be busybody)

by the way i bought it in the end

nice book

somehow, Septimus Heap is getting more and more boring =S
anyhow i'll still continue reading .. although it might take up at least a month =(

i give up! given in!

2010-02-07T00:33:00.001+08:00

my job
i HATE it !

arghhhhhh!

fear the hot chics!

2010-02-06T00:22:00.002+08:00

RAWRRRRR!

so what? you are pretty too!

like a rock starsssssssss~!!!
once you step on the street everyone goes FUAAAAAAAAA~ =D
hahahahhaa!

nighttttttt

horrible day laaaaarhhhhh!
cashier isn't a simple job
goodness
especially when you have to deal with abalones , shark fins and lots of lots of expensive rare seafoods
fuck it laaaa
the prices go nuts

i have made a false bill
around 1700 plus

beat it
it's just a customer...

blimey.. i feel damn tensed
the total sales is around 19,500 ringgit malaysia today

imagine if i were to make another mistake again

@.@

KILL ME!

tears

2010-02-05T02:32:00.000+08:00

i feel like a glass made doll
so weak and fragile

i don't like to make mistake
especially when it impact other parties

who likes to live a life of guilt?
why do i always try to run away?

i say im damn STUPID
is that gonna make it any better?

why do i always cause you so much trouble?
i should have been more alert

in reality..
you just gotta be careful in every step you take
once a false step who knows maybe your loved one is going to suffer together with you

you can never really rely on anyone
for you should know how much a back stab pains you

i LOVE this gay song a lot =D

2010-02-04T01:24:00.004+08:00

i'll make you smile like an idiot

fall out of bed

Singing deaf tone,

dizzy in your head

living in asylum,

crazy on a Sunday night

owh~ im so lame =D

perpetual uncertanity

2010-02-03T16:33:00.000+08:00

skin deep beauty isn't really that stupid.
of course without a smart brain it's almost pointless to have such pretty face =)
so use your prettiness smart enough to cover your stupidity *winksssss*

haha

my life is sO interesting.
im interested in biotech now =.=
lol i guess my uncertanity is not going to end by any way.

life could be miserable without money =D
indeed you and i agree upon that
that's why i adore woman who's pretty and smart (smart as in handling everything pls. even in choosing her own partner =D)
trust me!
if you were to make full use of these, you'd be as rich as bill gate =)
HOWEVER bill gate is going to die soon ( or perhaps he's already gone )

WHO CARES!

thus, be smart and pretty!

ps : if you dunnno how to make up properly then i reckon you should go for plastic surgery for you'd save up time on trying to fix your face =D

sorry!
im meannnnn!

offf the meanie goesssssss

i have a life time to learn from mistakes

2010-02-02T16:18:00.000+08:00

we should always keep an open mind.
never look down on any thing eventhough it seems somehow "no-class" or stupid to you but YOU will be amazed by how these little no-matter-to-you impact your life. maturities could be seen in you. i am however experiencing these right now. my holidays are not actually THAT meaningless anyway.

cheers mate :)

life's wonderful

quote of the day : do not trust anyone easily for look is decieving.

mind it!

ciaO

i went jogging =D

2010-01-31T09:03:00.002+08:00

with Black Black, heh didn't know he's SO attractive even after neutered.

i love my stupid dog lotssssssss...

haha fei zhai

i hate my job

2010-01-31T09:01:00.000+08:00

as a cashier =(

woohoo~

2010-01-29T21:10:00.000+08:00

im back to single =D

my family is my everything! yayyyyy!

make your first move

2010-01-28T12:57:00.001+08:00

if you're determined enough to achieve something.
no more procrastination
no more complaining
it's all depends on your mindset
if you want it then go for it!
very simple
over come fear is important
get rid of your timid self
don't let these weaknesses of yours become the obstacles in the path of success

feedback

2010-01-27T15:43:00.000+08:00

during these few months i had been a part - time waitress , 10-days-student-therapist and been through 3 weeks of national service...

maybe all these seem nothing but to me..
i have learnt a lot.. i see flaws and weakness in me throughout the camp.. all this while i thought i was so good in handling relationships with people around me in fact i was wrong. i was being too vain and self-concious.

if any of you asked .. " how come you're back from the camp? what happened? "

i would say ...
it's all began with a mistake and i swear to the god with a cross on my heart that i will never EVER repeat this again.

choose your friends wisely
because it hurts when you're betrayed by the ones you trusted
backstabbing kills..

i have been thinking about this...

2010-01-27T13:22:00.001+08:00

why some people could be SO addicted to sex?
i mean it's just the same movement and action afterall.
they just don't seem tired of it...

same imply here..
marriage couple
i mean DUHHH it's sweet and cool for the first year of marriage but don't you feel sickening after awhile? repeat the daily routine, seeing the same face everyday...
you know it's like a boreeeeeee...
nothing can really spice up the relationship. it's like running on the same spot and you can never go further anymore.

im home

2010-01-26T15:21:00.000+08:00

back from NS on friday night
reached home around 7.30pm

hello people! my blog has been dead for a while..
cheer up mate! =D

you have no idea how much i have been through in the camp.. and forgive me for i don't wish to talk about it now..

Im leaving today

2010-01-06T10:32:00.002+08:00

=D miss me peopleeeeee!

byebye!

this is crazy

2010-01-05T14:33:00.001+08:00

lol you can never believe how he sneaked in and out
gosh the memories you left me are really crazy
perhaps someday if we happened to meet again
that something would be nice to talk about
and then we will be laughing the whole day
tomorrow i will be leaving this wonderful place and set off to "Neverland"
hahaha

YO KEM DE BANA

here i comeeeeeee =D

NS NS NS!!!!

mom thanks alot for being so caring

2010-01-03T23:32:00.002+08:00

i love you =D

yay! i don't need to bother about packing my stuff! hehe

i've got a free maid here *grins*

shhhhhhhhhhhh

Better In Time =)

2010-01-03T23:22:00.005+08:00

‘What goes around comes around’ is a song which means a lot to those who had bad breakups. Gotta admit, the lyrics and the rhythm are really influential to me. In the sense that, I used to hanker for a beautiful sweet relationship . Oh yes, I am pretty sure that every young girl dreams of that.No doubt! Even your grandma once thought of that.

I truly understand how that feels like. But the moment your dream snapped, you’re so breaking down. I learned that painful lesson when I realized this guy I loved so much was actually playing my feeling all this while. Inevitable, I was heart broken. I couldn’t let go.every time I listened to the love songs I just SNAPPED!

It took me 6 months to get over this fucker!
Now I have totally changed my mindset and perception about relationship.

I met this guy three months ago. At the beginning I really thought this would be just another game thing. You know like simply flirt around and then you don’t contact with each other anymore. Lol I never knew he’s going to be my boyfriend. I sneaked out of house a lot just to meet him up. Seriously I thought it only happened in movie

However, I was always haunted by the horrible experience that I had previously. I told myself not to be serious with him. I told myself to set a limit. No spooning because it won’t be a long thing. He’d turned out to be just another jerk once he got me so lovey dovey.

I asked for break ups many times. It totally broke his heart. I was being so cruel however I was touched by the way he treated me I just never wanted to admit that. He’s such a good guy. I know because he loves me a lot.

I forced myself to listen to ‘what goes around comes around’ again, I was so surprised.. You know... I broke down... the tears were bitter.. All this while, I really thought that I did a great job. Staying away from love and keep a distance between him. In fact, I was wrong I think I am falling in love this time.

Crazy lol… cheng yau you TOTALLY lost your mind!
Yeah people only realized what they’re missing when they really lost it.
Frankly speaking, I never regretted for what I have decided. It’s going to end anyway even if we’re still together. =) hmm SO! I am letting it go!
I will feel better in time =)

im a single lady

2010-01-03T20:50:00.000+08:00

=) good luck to you

omg im dead

2010-01-03T14:27:00.001+08:00

she's forcing me to go ns!

yesterday

2010-01-03T14:26:00.001+08:00

was a really really weird day.

anyhow it's nice to meet new people xD

i mean despite their actual intention behind

lol

i found a job in padini!

2009-12-31T18:49:00.000+08:00

fuaaaaaaaa~

hahaha you know i visited their website and looked for their number

and i never knew everything would be going on so smoothly

yeah~

not bad you know i could get at least 1300 bucks plus OT i might get 1500 added up

wheeeeeeeeeee~

new year resolutions :

1. be rich

2. be pretty

3. no tummy

4. get good greds

5. stay happy

=D WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~

happy new year people!

this is the best new year gift everrrrrrrr!

i cant believe my eyes!

IT'S PADINI!!!!

when it come to an end

2009-12-31T05:13:00.000+08:00

you just gotta face it with guts

all the best in future my friendddddd

if he loves you

2009-12-30T15:02:00.002+08:00

he will never ignore you

he will never keep you waiting for his call

he thinks of you everyday

he never call you names

he wants you to be his girlfriend

he tells you that he loves you

he respect you if you don't want to have sex

he will never flirt with other girls

he will never cheat on you

he wants to see you everyday

he will do anything to cheer you up

he never turns away when you are down

he will never grumble about spending too much on you

girls, don't get fooled by your own feelings. if your man fails to do any above stated please jilt him.

remember! we have standard, don't waste your pretty. we deserve to be treated like a queen.

=D

2009-12-28T23:19:00.000+08:00

wolalala

2009-12-28T22:57:00.002+08:00

i met wei sheng in ikano just now
and hOllyyyyy crap! i couldn't recognised him!!!!!

look what these 5 years have done to our faces..

6H reunion
lol
wonder how cute it will be.. kinda looking forward it you know =)

i did "Hot Blanket" for a customer today
so glad that she spoke english xD
well this was the second time
the first was kind of like a disaster =P
so lucky she did not complain about me

anyhow this time i guess i did a good job
never missed out any single step except for the last part..
i forgot to wipe her sweat at the back
OWH forget it it's such a trivial mistake
it wont bite a bit xP (self-comforting)

i love padini alot =)

nighttttttttt~

how can i not love you when i already do?

2009-12-27T21:29:00.000+08:00

im sorry baby

i love you =)

Disasterous day evaR!

2009-12-21T21:36:00.000+08:00

hell yeah!
i fucking hate my therapist (student) jobbbbbb

im so lucky for i will not be trained for spa massage
apparently it's just hot blanket service that i will be doing
muahahaha
and you know from 9.30 to 6.00 i kept repeating the massaging steps
my point is
i freaking finished everything with my partner at 4.10pm
and then we bloody stoned/slept/stared for 2 hours.
then hor!
i have got to clean the machines in the centre until 8!

FUCKING BORING i tell you!
my wrists are so painful
i can hardly lift them up especially the left one @.@

frankly speaking
I HATE MY JOB!
it's not fun at alllllllll
now that i realize how much i love studying

i am missing spm days now =(
IM NOT JOKING PLS!

i feel like quiting my job
but no matter what
i know i gotta continue dealing with all this shits
because i freaking ~~wasted~~ spent 230 ringgit malaysia on the uniform -.-

oh yes!
CRAZY! totally out of my mind!

im in a relationship

2009-12-21T21:18:00.001+08:00

with ng zhen ming =)

prom night

2009-12-20T14:57:00.000+08:00

haha no im not going =)
wilson the DJ tonight!
yeahhh
i love the songs you remixxxxx!
they are awesomeeeeeeee!

bu4 is full of hot chicks i sayyyyyyy!

have fun ladiessssssssss

guys! get ready your condom xD
hahaha cikgu khairi told me that
hahahaha

FUCKING HILARIOUS i tell you!

till thennnn

fuaaaaaa?

2009-12-20T02:26:00.001+08:00

okay haha thanks for viewing my blog guys..
i din know so many people read my blog..
im so flattered seriously xD

is alright people
im fine
everything is fineee
i have given it one last go..

i went for edu fair today
holly i am so attending for the make up artist course
you know how much i love it?!!!!
you have no ideaaaaaaa
6 months coursie babyyyy

im definitely going for TARC collegeeeeeee
haha
funny!
mom actually gave a small lecture about the way i dress up
i usually make a lot noise when she starts to yada yada
but just that particular moment
i found her cute!
haha

another person came to me apparently he/she's looking for show girl
lol damn flattered

crossing my fingerssss nothing will goes wrong on monday

ps : i miss you =)

night!

tomorrow is a brand new dayy

2009-12-18T18:15:00.003+08:00

im going to work at dad's place tomorrow =)

gonna be funnnnnnn i hopeeeee

-----------------------------

i don't wanna talk about it think about it

just gimme some time

i'll give you an answer

last night

2009-12-18T15:03:00.005+08:00

i couldn't stop thinking about what happened last night.
honestly it wasn't a good thing
part of me was struggling to let go what i was holding on so tight
but no matter how hard i tried
in the end i have chosen to follow my instinct
no one could ever change my mind on principle

i believe i have clarified everything over the phone
please don't mess with me
you know the consequences don't you?
i do hope you respect this tiny little bit of me

perhaps guys are all equally horny
that i understand
im not here to blame any party
being 100% frank here alright?

when a guy tells you that he loves you
girl, what is your first impression about this?
he mean it?
or it's only about your body?
that i don't know

but one thing i am pretty sure is
i ain't no some random chick that could let your fingers simply ramble on and walk out of my life the next day. im not a sex partner of anybody and im not interested to be one.

if you love me
then please don't try to change my mind
instead, respect what i believe in like a gentleman.

im saying this for one last time,
if you want dirty games.. please get out of my life.

im not cross
seriously
i just don't want to waste each others time
if that's what you wanted

under your clothes

2009-12-16T19:46:00.001+08:00

beautiful sensation

i look like tiny little mousie

2009-12-16T14:50:00.000+08:00

yeahhh!

abuden whatevaRRRRRR!

im getting darker skin tone! thanks to baby! hmph!

i feel like my body can barely move.. don't ask me why... it's only 1 and a half hour of badminton game... perhaps less than that..

anyhowwww
it's still fun to hang out with youuuuu =)
i love you

this person im chatting with

2009-12-14T22:28:00.002+08:00

is very interesting..
we share common notion about things..

it's always good to meet someone who feels the same way too

make a difference

2009-12-14T15:06:00.000+08:00

there's this friend of mine
he's simply in love with forex
i mean he sounds so enthusiastic everytime he talks about it
he even own a blog which you can see nothing much more than about stock market
but my question is..

how are you going to start your risky big game?
borrow your parents' money?

does it make any sense a person merely 21 telling you that he is starting a forex businessssssss???

take note teng ian!

2009-12-13T12:23:00.000+08:00

please go for medical check up immediately!

HIV virus is not a laughing thing.

don't die so early yeah?

we all will DEFINITELY miss your super sarcastic lame jokes

*grins*

strip club damn fun right?
haha control your hormone plssssss
i know those hot ah kua turns you on
but you just gotta hold your pants tight k?

HAHAHHAHAHAHA!

BURRRRP! in your faceeeeeeeee~

2009-12-12T15:16:00.000+08:00

haven you heard that i'm louddd?????
haha i love this lyricsssss so...

Love me or hate me,
             it's still an obsession.
Love me or hate me,
             that is the question.
If you love me then thank you!
             If you hate me then fuck you!

so you!
that's right!

OKAY!!!!
i tell you what I HATE MY HAIR!
shitttO im biding my time and will definitely do something about it!
it's ugly ugly ugly ugly uglyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

and i SWEAR once i get the amount of money i wanted
i will...
niahahahahaha
*grins*

i want~~~~ the attention~~~
you YES you!
all of you people's attention will be mine mine mine mine
niahahahaha
kidding la!
that sounds so psychotic
im not a psychO!
okay only mr wong teng ian call me that =.=

and i wonder how's he and his strip club
sure all ah kua
niahahahhaa *mocking*

bimbo!

2009-12-12T15:07:00.002+08:00

where are you???

i miss you!!!!!!

awwww

2009-12-11T19:34:00.001+08:00

i CAN't WAiT!

i CAN'T WAiT!!!

one more subjectttt =D

mom is forcing me to go NS

what should i do?

doh uh-oh oh oh~~

2009-12-11T19:30:00.000+08:00

yet another womanizerrrr
i mean heyyyyyy
you guys have got nothing better to do than just going after random girls????

that's very lame..

yo dude if you are reading this

GET A LIFE!!!!

i need a fix!

2009-12-11T11:07:00.000+08:00

I guess I am tired
I’m sick of this wall I built
I am turning myself into a monster ever since I kicked him out of my life
From that very day on wards
I never succumb to every conventional notions of romance
I have become more and more self-centered

Life is not just about romance
There are still many other things to focus on
But I’m tired of my new complicated attitude problem
I need a fix!
I need a new direction for I really don’t know where I am heading.

Therefore I’ve decided to move with the flow
I am slowing down
Enjoy everything that I’m going through
it's the process that counts

WONG CHENG YAU!
As long as you are happy
Nothing is really matter =)

Chasing dreamsss…

Knowledge and some GREENssss $$$$$
yeahhhhh~

[Cherish – superstar]

I don't have to take my hair out of my ponytail
Don't have to change my style up or come out the clothes I wear
Because of you I'm able to get through the stormy weather
You know the words to say just to make my day go better

Anything (Anything)
That I do (That I do)
I know I'll always be beautiful to you (always be beautiful to you)
Thought I had all my senses but you gave me touch (you gave me touch)
Without you I wouldn't know love

I know when I come home I'm your superstar
Even if no records were so I'm your superstar
No matter the time I know always through your eyes
I'll remain a superstar

smileeeeeeee~

2009-12-10T20:47:00.000+08:00

i gotta study study study study!!!!!

chemistryyyyyyy oh chemistry!!!

2009-12-07T13:03:00.000+08:00

my body contains alot saturated fat

alot alot alot!

how can i not love food?

it's like paradiseeee

how can i not love slim body?

it's like so hottttt

OWH! GOD WHY CANT YOU JUST BE FAIR ???

if food and body figure never related to each other

my life would be a lot happierrrrrrrr

sad caseeee

ciaoooooo

this is for you, dear

2009-12-07T03:35:00.001+08:00

okay FIRST stop scrolling down! my tummy is sexilly fat I KNOW

you little stalker..~

i promise i'll never doubt your sincerity againnn
not if you seriously do something wronggggg
k?

i love youu =)

xD look! somebody's candid shottttttttttt~~~

hahaha sorry

it's a really really bad oneeeeee

lovesss..

ciaooooo

britney oh britney!!!

2009-12-06T12:25:00.000+08:00

i feel the burning fireee!

Wooooooooot~

1, 2, 3

Not only you and me

Got one eighty degrees

And I'm caught in between

Countin'

girls i miss you

2009-12-05T17:33:00.002+08:00

i have turned myself into an ice queen

2009-12-05T17:21:00.000+08:00

i no longer give a damn like how i used to

it's like i hardly trust anyone else

i hate to be the heart broken one

because it taste like hell

i am

always ready to move on

because nothing last forever

offfffffff

look what spm has done to my beloved tummy

2009-12-05T17:00:00.002+08:00

fat fat fat!

see that!!!!

goodnessssssssssssssss

okay at least my tummy is still presentable

BUT not when i am sitting

it's so digustinggggg

@.@

i was thinking about a tattoo

okay maybe on my back better

who knows maybe few years later

my tummy becomes BLOATED like my daddy's

ewww

eww

ewwwwwwwwwww

ciaooooooo~

old gay shit cheng yau

2009-12-04T13:24:00.000+08:00

doesn kill a bit

IM SERIOUS!

SO DAMN FREAKING SERIOUS~!

all because of ng zhen ming

2009-12-04T13:00:00.002+08:00

or i would have deleted this blog
instead of fugly old gay shit resentful postssssssss
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

mission is yet to be accomplisheddddddddddddd

to be continued...

till thennnnnn

Michael Palma Julio!!!

2009-12-01T10:02:00.001+08:00

okay frankly speaking there's very little chance that a guy's look will catch my attention because this is malaysia. BUT HIM! MICHEAL PALMA JULIO!!!!!

i hope he doesn't find this blog or i'll be damn embarassed!

haha who cares he doesn speak englishhhhhhhhhhhh

omg

i will find a way to study in overseaaaa

to meet all these hot peopleeeeeeeeeeeee

AHHHHHHHHHH!

my heart meltsssss

he's not a celebrity

he's a facebook frien of mine

1 second

2009-11-30T18:36:00.002+08:00

just one moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee plssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

only if it takes my mind off pig

i .. start to hate facebook because of you

2009-11-30T18:27:00.003+08:00

maybe my heart will explodeeeeeeeeee

what is wrong?

WHAT is wrong?

why can't i walk away

why can't i just shut my eyessssss

swirl and twirl

this is freaky cosssss

you have got me holding on

so much it taste like bloody

you are so dangerous

can i have my heart back?

i am

begging

!!!!!!!!!!YOU!!!!!!!!!!

you you you you you you youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
what la youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

MEH ooooooorhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

cheng signing offffffffffffffff

this blog is officially shuts down

2009-11-29T02:23:00.005+08:00

for a week

reasons why biology is so fun to study

2009-11-29T01:58:00.001+08:00

1. get to skip all the house work

all you need to do is to tell your mom you need to prepare for exam

2. makes you look smarter

by making fun of people with scientific term

3. so that you get to imagine you yourself as a doctor

okay im lazy to think of other lame reasons to bluff myself to go on with my study
in fact i should be studying now
and what the fuck am i doing here?

searching for a word to say

2009-11-29T01:42:00.003+08:00

this insecurity feeling still exist
i don't know how long this will last but soon i know i will lose my patient
so cross your fingers
so that my good mood won't be overpowered by my cheng yau power
or else i dunno what will actually happen next
don't take things for granted
so that i wont have to give up on you

a golden advise to cheng yau

2009-11-28T18:22:00.000+08:00

if you feel bad/sad then why not just move on?

this is what im feeling now

dear

2009-11-28T09:31:00.001+08:00

i think touch my hand reminds me of you more

okay bio time!
ciao

whatever it takes

2009-11-28T08:44:00.003+08:00

you know i love laughing
hahaha
okay my point is.. maybe it will turns out to be a disaster maybe in the end i'll be gluing up my broken heart.. but i will never frown because i will still have enough money to buy super glue =D (lame)
BAHAHA!

what's wrong with maghh??

2009-11-28T08:11:00.003+08:00

never the word jealousy appears in my year book
but how could this be happening?
omggggg
i am jealous
FOR WHAT?

hallo

2009-11-27T19:58:00.000+08:00

im a rocker yeah yeahhh~

2009-11-26T12:53:00.001+08:00

im addicted to break up songssssssssssss

matter fact

i find it easier to break up than getting along with someone

omfg!

2009-11-25T19:29:00.002+08:00

i lost my baby watch!

*hey watchie if ya reading this PLS COME BACK TO ME! I LOVE YOU!*

i know she feels me..
cos i feel the pain the moment i realise she's gone out of my life

and what the hECK!
addmaths paper 1 was freaking easy
but why was paper 2 so hard?
i don't understand why papers in year 2008 were so easy peasy

THIS IS UNFAIR!
I PROTEST!
WE SHALL RETAKE THE PAPER!

T________________T
i don't like the goverment

SCREW PAPER 2 LarhhhhHHHHH!!!!

------------------------------------------------------

okay! people!
STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT ME CAM WHORING TOO MUCH!
even strangers notice about that
-.-

<3

2009-11-23T15:31:00.003+08:00

i feel loved

2009-11-21T22:29:00.002+08:00

the most disasterous day happened on the day before sejarah paper 2 exam
i had fever
blame the stupid weather
*reminds me of katty perry's hot and cold

okay you know fortunately i did not take in panadol otherwise i can never imagine what would happen.
anyway, there's not much difference between taking the pills or not because i had nausea symtom i felt dizzy and what's even worse I COULD NOT RING A BELL ABOUT THINGS THAT I'VE STUDIED

indeed i was panicked. i cried even. you dunno how's it's like..
it felt like HELL
i hugged my mom and i cried and cried and cried
my mind was blank
how was i gonna sit for my paper tomorrow since i was in this condition

i usually had doubt believeing in god.
you can call me a half free thinker.
but at that particular moment i followed what my mom said..
in tears, i prayed with my heart and soul..

(i know i am never a filial budhhist but who caresss)

and something AMAZING happened...

from that moment
i started to believe in the exsistence superior power

crossing my fingersss
at least A- for this subject please

woman! i feel our distance

2009-11-17T08:53:00.001+08:00

punch you hard babesssss

i hate YOU!!!!!!!

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

i don't love you anymore!

ditch ditch ditch

fineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

look !

2009-11-17T08:20:00.004+08:00

im dead

X_________________________________X

everything goes shaky

2009-11-15T05:10:00.000+08:00

i know i know
stay positive
i know i know
"you'll be fine"
but at the back of my mind can't help but question
where am i heading?
it's like im lost in the jungle
keep seeking for a way out

i feel so alone!
ALONE!
are you there with me?
are you?
can you feel my fear?
can you?
im so afraid to have my future screwed up!